Bart sneaks out of the house to attend a forbidden rap concert. When Marge and Homer discover he is missing, Bart fakes his own kidnapping to prevent being grounded. Of course, no one has any faith in bumbling police Chief Clancy Wiggum. Inspired by an apparition of Barney Fife, Wiggum vows to rescue Bart. Meanwhile, Bart is hiding out in Kirk Van Houten’s bachelor pad unbeknownst to Kirk. Wiggum cracks the case, Bart is rescued, and Kirk wrongfully goes to jail. Wiggum is promoted to Police Commissioner and Kirk becomes a lady’s man among the felon-loving singles of Springfield. Lisa searches for the truth and discovers that the kidnapping was all a hoax and everyone goes back as it was before.
There’s Something About Marrying
To boost tourism in Springfield, the town decides to legalize same-sex marriages. Homer discovers the monetary value of gay marriages, becomes an ordained minister via the internet, and soon marries everyone and everything in town. Patty Bouvier then comes to Homer and asks him to marry her – to Veronica a professional women’s golfer. Selma is happy for her sister that she found love, but is sad that now she is all alone. While Marge is coping with the fact that her big sister is marrying a woman, she discovers that Veronica is a man disguised as a lesbian! When the truth is exposed, Veronica is kicked out of the LPGA and Patty is driven back into the arms of the one person who truly understands her, Selma.
On A Clear Day I Can’t See My Sister
Fed up with Bart’s endless taunting and torture, Lisa files a restraining order requiring him to stay at least 20 then 200 feet from her. To adhere to the restraining order, Bart is forced to live in the yard where he learns to commune with nature. Lisa eventually starts to miss her big brother and his teasing, and after she is able to find three nice things Bart has done for her, she does away with the restraining order and Bart moves back in the house. Meanwhile, Homer takes over Grampa’s job at the Sprawl*Mart as a greeter. He loves his new job until he realizes they treat their employees terribly. When he attempts to plan a coup with the other Sprawl*Mart workers he discovers they have accepted the way they are treated and make up for it by stealing everything that is not nailed down. In the end, order is restored and the Simpsons have sixteen new plasma screen televisions.
Goo Goo Gai Pan
When Selma hits menopause, she realizes that she missed her chance to have a baby and decides to adopt a baby girl from China, but comes to a bump in the road when the application asks for her husband’s name. In an act of desperation, she puts down Homer. So now, the Simpsons are off to China with Selma to pick up her Chinese baby girl with Homer pretending to be her husband. Their charade is revealed and their functionary, Madam Yu (Lucy Liu,) takes Selma’s baby back. The Simpsons then devise a scheme to snatch steal her from the orphanage. Of course, they are caught, but Selma is able to reason with Madam Yu bureaucrat to bureaucrat and Selma is able to leave with her new baby girl, Ling Bouvier.
Mobile Homer
Marge pressures Homer into buying life insurance after he suffers a garage door to the throat accident while performing a little Sunday cleaning. When she learns that Homer is not insurable, Marge takes matters into her own hands by implementing across the board cost cutting in the household. Moe, Lenny and Carl convince Homer that all financial decisions should be made jointly which drives Homer to purchase a RV as an act of defiance. In an effort to save their parent's marriage, Bart and Lisa steal the RV and head to the dealer for a refund. Homer and Marge decide to work through their differences to track down the children just as the kids lose control of the RV and crash onto a departing Turkish freighter. Marge's penny pinching comes in handy when she is able to use surplus cases of soup stored in the trunk to persuade the freighter to turn around and reunite the family.
