Gerald
At the center of the story, if you can call it that, is a boy named Gerald who is on a magical quest for perfect hair in a mysterious land. He is prematurely bald and sounds like a girl. But he makes friends easily. His Uncle Grandfather acts as his guardian. Coiffio is his nemesis.
Uncle Grandfather
Gerald’s shirtless, potbellied mentor, is more interested in women than in helping his nephew. He is obsessed with food and sex, and many times tries to combine the two.
Brenda
Brenda is a beautiful, strong, very young girl who lives with Uncle Grandfather. She battles young Gerald before he sets off on his quest. She whispers in Gerald's ear to communicate to him, and to commence the Cat-Bun wars. Uncle Grandfather enjoys her company, mainly because of the tiny skirt and even tinier thong she wears.
Action Hot Dog
A singing hot dog who can fight. Action Hot Dog listens as Gerald tries to work through the obstacles of his quest for perfect hair.
Inappropriate Comedy Tree
A tree that tells bad jokes and longs for acceptance. Later it is revealed that the Inappropriate Comedy Tree, who occasionally wears jeans, has a name: Norman Douglas.
Coiffio
Coiffio is Gerald's enemy. He is the "evil controller of cats." Coiffio has rainbow, psychedelic hair and a taste for Gerald's blood. He lives on a spaceship that is rather phallic-looking.
Cat Man
Cat Man is a reluctant villain, who may or may not be just a man wearing a cat suit. He joins forces with Coiffio, sort of, to foil Gerald's quest for perfect hair.
Model Robot
Model Robot is another servant of Coiffio. He seems to be a combination of a Transformer and Gundam. Once, he became an A-bomb and blew up at Coiffio's request.
Rod
Rod, the Animé God, is a mysterious giant flame that periodically appears to offer Gerald and the others his Zen-like advice. He also offered to buy Coiffio's house.
Young Man
He is the King of All Animals. He is awarded the Hamburger Necklace, which he loses when Space Cat tears off his hand while he's holding the talisman.
