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'The Simpsons' Quotes

Fan Favorites


Grampa Simpson

Grandpa Simpson

Twentieth Century Fox
These favorite quotes from The Simpsons were chosen by fans at The Simpsons posting board.

Jim (UMHUH): (Abe telling Homer his mother was a carnie.) "She would do things your mother wouldn't do, like have sex for money."

TALESOFHOFF: Homer says, "In this house we obey the laws of Thermodynamics!"

RYANISGOD: In "Bart vs. Australia," [Sign on a closed-down movie theatre that reads, "Yahoo Serious Festival."] Lisa says, "I recognize all three of those words but that statement doesn't make any sense."

SIMPSONSNUT: Homer says, "[Sickly sweet] Oh, look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the Magical Man from Happy-Land, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane! Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic."

ZOMBOOLIO: Bart says, "Church, cult, cult, church--so we get bored somewhere else every Sunday."

IDLERACER: Marge says, "Please, Homer, try not to destroy any more National Monuments. God, I was hoping I would never have to here myself say those words again!"

DARKWULV: Ralph had the best quote when they were on the deserted island: "Tastes like burning!"

Santaslittlehelper: Krusty says, "I could pull a better cartoon outta my aaayyyy, kids!"

CPEQ: Lisa says, "I'm gonna pump 'em so full of sap they're gonna wipe their nose with a pancake!"

BOTZUKOWSKI: Ralph says, "Bushes are nice 'cause they don't have prickers. Unless they do. This one does. Ouch!"

ADFOG1: Apu says, "Thank you for coming. I'll see you in hell!"

STEVE0251: Homer says, "Just once I'd like someone to call me 'Sir' without adding 'You're making a scene.' "

SERAPH76: Milhouse, after trading Bart's soul for pogs, says, "Remember Alf? He's back--in pog form!"

RYANFREROTTE: Comic Book Guy says, "But Aquaman, you cannot marry a women without gills. You're from two different worlds."

PBUD: Homer says, "Weaseling out of things is what separates us from the animals--except of course the weasel."

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