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Homer Simpson Quotes

'The Simpsons'


"The Springfield Files" (Season 8)

Homer: "Well, the evening began at the gentleman's club, where we were discussing Wittgenstein over a game of backgammon."
Agent Scully: "Mr. Simpson, it's a felony to lie to the F.B.I."
Homer: "We were sitting in Barney's car eating packets of mustard. You happy?"
Season 8 Episode Guide

"D'oh-in' in the Wind" (Season 10)

Maude: "My eyes have been soiled!"
Homer: "Come on, Maude, the human wang is a beautiful thing."
Marge: "Homer, for God's sake, put your poncho on."
Homer: "Okay, okay... Narc."
Season 10 Episode Guide

"HOMR" (Season 12)

Homer: "I have a great way to solve our money woes. You rent your womb to a rich childless couple. If you agree, signify by getting indignant."
Marge: "Are you crazy? I'm not going to be a surrogate mother."
Homer: "C'mon, Marge, we're a team. It's uter-US, not uter-YOU."
Season 12 Episode Guide

"Weekend at Burnsie's"

"Going cold turkey isn't as delicious as it sounds."
Season 13 Episode Guide

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