Comic Book Guy

Name: For fourteen years he was known only as the Comic Book Guy. In "Homer And Ned's Hail Mary Pass," aired right after the 2005 Super Bowl, we discover that his real name is Jeff Albertson. According to Al Jean in a quote at TVGuide.com, "We just thought it would be funny to throw it away and give him a normal name after all these years," he says. "There's nobody he's named after. It just sounded like a good name for the guy. We purposely made it as nondescript as possible."

Occupation: Owner and operator of the Android's Dungeon & Baseball Card Shop, where he sells comic books, trading cards and other collectibles found at Sci Fi conventions.

Education: According to "Three Men and a Comic Book," he has a master's degree in folklore and mythology.

Wears: T-shirts that are too tight and prescription pants, as we find out in "It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Marge."

Favorite Quotes: "Bart Sells His Soul"
"Er, excuse me. No banging your head on the display case, please. It contains a very rare "Mary Worth" in which she has advised a friend to commit suicide. Thank you."

"Marge Be Not Proud"
"Seeing as we are unfamiliar with sarcasm, I shall close the register at this point, and state that 99 cents is the rental price."

"The Day the Violence Died
(Bart sees a framed drawing of Itchy.)
Bart: Cool! I'll give you ten bucks for that.
CBG: Are you the creator of Hi and Lois because you are making me laugh. That drawing is worth exactly $750 dollars American.
Bart: It's valuable, huh? CBG: Ooh, your powers of deduction are exceptional. I can't allow you to waste them here when there are so many crimes going unsolved at this very moment. Go, go, for the good of the city.
Bart: Loser.

"The Homer They Fall"
"I do not have a receipt, I won it as a door prize at the "Star Trek" convention, although I find their choice of prize highly illogical as the average Trekker has no use for a medium-sized belt."

"The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show"
"ast night's Itchy & Scratchy was, without a doubt, the worst eisode ever. Rest assured I was on the Iternet within minutes registering my disgust throughout the world."

"My Sister, My Sitter"
"Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix."

"Das Bus"
"Oh, Captain Janeway. Lace: The Final Brassiere."

"Viva Ned Flanders"
"I insist you take special care with my collection of valuable and humorous bumper stickers, particularly this one (he indicates a sticker which reads "My Other Car Is A Millennium Falcon") which was given to me by a Harrison Ford look-alike."

"Treehouse of Horror Xena"
"Lucite hardening... Must end life in classic Lorne Greene pose from "Battlestar Galactica." Best... death... ever!"