The quotes Bart Simpson writes on the blackboard at the beginning of every episode of The Simpsons are funny and usually a comment on current news or pop culture. This list is a collection of Simpsons blackboard quotes from past episodes.
I will not call my teacher Hot Cakes
I will not encourage others to fly
I will not grease the monkey bars
I will not belch the National Anthem
I am not a 32 year old woman
Nobody likes sunburn slappers
I will finish what I sta
I will not pledge allegiance to Bart
I will not aim for the head
Sherri does not got back
I will not say *Springfield* just to get applause
I can't see dead people
I will not prescribe medication
Spitwads are not free speech
Mud is not one of the 4 food groups
I will never win an Emmy
I will not barf unless I'm sick
I am not delightfully saucy
My mom is not dating Jerry Seinfeld
I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge
I will not eat things for money
The boys room is not a water park
Indian burns are not our cultural heritage
The truth is not out there
I will not lie in front of the school bus with ketchup on my face
A fire drill does not demand a fire
I was not the inspiration for Kramer
A belch is not an oral report
I was not touched *there* by an angel
