Learn brilliant marketing strategies and business practices necessary for starting a snow-plowing business from Homer Simpson, better known as Mr. Plow.
Difficulty: Average
Time Required: Days
Here's How:
- Purchase a $20,000 snow plow at a local auto show. Try to find a salesman who cracks an imaginary whip.
- Place flyers on every car in a large parking lot. Best results are achieved on a day with very little wind.
- When it comes time to read a lesson from the Bible at your church service, instead use the time to advertise your snow-plowing business.
- Buy cheap air time on a local channel, for example Channel 92, to run your commercial. For the commercial, cast your family and sing a catchy jingle.
- Don't forget to include customers such as your local convenient store, retirement community, and elementary school.
Tips:
- Never tell your best friend about your business. He may attempt to compete against you. In case he does, send him to plow the highest mountain in your area, Widow's Peak, for instance, while you take back your business locally.
- Wear a jacket with your logo emblazoned on the back. It may come in handy for amorous occasions.
- Persuade a famous, grammy award-winning singer to perform in your commercial, such as Linda Ronstadt.
- Above all, never attempt to rap a jingle.
What You Need:
- Snow Plow
- Cool Jacket
- Catchy Jingle
