How To Raise a Lobster

Here's How:

1. Purchase the smallest lobster from your local grocery or local seafood store.
2. Place the lobster in a fish tank full of water.
3. Pour enough salt into the tank to keep the lobster alive.  Fine tuning is required.
4. Feed the lobster a steady diet of bacon, eggs, sausage links, and risotto.
5. Weigh the lobster daily.  If you are on the scale with the lobster, subtract your weight from the total.  Refer to your driver's license for your weight.
6. Place the lobster in an inflatable pool.  It is now a free-range lobster.
7. Occasionally take the lobster for a walk at the beach.
8. When the lobster is large enough, give it a nice, hot bath.
9. Eat the lobster.  Try not to cry.

Tips:

1. Be careful not to put too much salt in the fish tank.
2. Lobster tastes extra delicious when dipped in melted butter.

What You Need

• Fish tank
• Wading pool
• Salt
• Butter